


Unconditional

by thanku4urlove



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: (but only a little) - Freeform, (this fic does not take place in a Costco), Communication, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, all I wanna write is fluffy snuggles with soft dialogue, and I'm just gonna have to deal with that, and everyone else in this Costco is gonna have to deal too, and you're just gonna have to deal with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 09:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanku4urlove/pseuds/thanku4urlove
Summary: Mingyu has something important he needs to tell Jihoon. Jihoon doesn't think that it's really a big deal.
Relationships: Kim Mingyu/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 111





	Unconditional

**Author's Note:**

> this is so self indulgent but so is literally everything else I write so I don't know what to tell you people at this point

Mingyu had been very still and quiet next to him in bed for nearly thirty minutes. Jihoon would have assumed him asleep--he often fell asleep when they were like this, curled around each other, his head under Jihoon's arm while Jihoon played with his hair--but his breathing wasn't even enough, his body not still enough. Jihoon almost expected the question when Mingyu finally asked it.

"Can I talk to you?" 

"When the song is over." Jihoon answered. He'd been playing music from his phone while he'd scrolled, and didn't like to leave a song unfinished. It felt rude, somehow. But then Mingyu reached over and pulled Jihoon’s phone from his hand, turning the music all the way down until it was muted, and that felt rude too. Jihoon couldn't do much more than stare at him, feeling stunned, and Mingyu scrambled himself into a sitting position. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just--" Mingyu ran a quick hand through his hair, and he seemed horribly off balance and unsure, and something in Jihoon's stomach twisted. Something was wrong. This wasn’t ever how Mingyu acted with him. “I've been... I've been working myself up to tell you this for a while and I just... I have to do it now." 

Jihoon also sat up, because there was a slight twinge of nausea in his stomach that he couldn’t handle lying down. Mingyu seemed sick with nerves, his face so open that just looking at the expression felt intimate. Jihoon moved to hold Mingyu's hand, but when he put his fingers on Mingyu's own, Mingyu didn't slide them together. 

"So tell me." Jihoon said quietly. Mingyu let out a long breath. 

"Jihoon, I..." Mingyu did move his hand then, simply squeezing Jihoon's fingertips for a moment. "I'm gay." 

Jihoon couldn't do much more than blink at him. He wanted to laugh, but Mingyu looked too worried and conflicted and torn up for him to do that. 

"Okay." He said instead, and Mingyu finally lifted his head, looking at him. Jihoon did his absolute best to convey his confusion, and it was obvious that this wasn't the reaction Mingyu had been expecting. 

"Did you not hear me?" Mingyu asked. "I'm gay." 

"...so am I?" Jihoon answered. He wasn't sure what Mingyu wanted from him. Was it supposed to be a joke? His boyfriend was not this good of an actor. "Mingyu, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but you've been sleeping with a man for the past three years.” Jihoon curled his fingers around Mingyu’s hand, drawing it close to place it on his thigh. “And that man is me. So this isn't very surprising." 

Mingyu took in the words, then frowned down at the bedspread, looking again like he was working up to saying something, though Jihoon couldn't guess what this new revelation would be. That he was left-handed, maybe. Jihoon didn't like the anxiety on his face, didn’t like the creases of worry on his forehead. 

"I love you." Jihoon told him, reaching up with his free hand to gently poke the mole on Mingyu's left cheek. "You're going to have to try a little harder. You could tell me that Poottee Poottee gets you going and I'll still want to grow old with you." 

When that didn't get a laugh Jihoon felt his concern returning, rubbing his thumb over Mingyu's cheekbone instead. Finally, Mingyu spoke again, but this time he sounded confused.

"Why aren't you mad at me?"

"Why in the hell would I be mad at you?" Jihoon asked back. 

"I lied to you." 

Jihoon blinked. "About what?"

"When we got together, I told you that I was bi, but I think I might have already known back then that I wasn't." 

"Mingyu, that..." Jihoon felt floored. "That was four years ago."

"That just makes it worse!" 

"It's okay." Jihoon said, because he didn't want Mingyu raising his voice. "It doesn't hurt my feelings. I’m not going to hold you to an old ‘I think I might have’. I don't care, Mingyu." 

"But I had girlfriends, back then. I thought I liked them, but--but I know I like attention. What if I only liked the attention? What if I hurt them?" 

"Mingyu, I'm sure they don't care either. And you were what, fifteen? Did you even know you were gay when you were fifteen?" 

"I knew I wasn't straight." Mingyu admitted. Then he let out a long breath, falling onto his back on the bed with a thump. Jihoon didn't let go of his hand, being pulled forwards a bit with the motion, so he just followed through and let himself lay on Mingyu's chest. Mingyu was staring at the ceiling, and he looked miles and miles away, so Jihoon kissed his nose. That usually got a smile, but this time Mingyu just glanced at him, so Jihoon tried again. 

"It wasn't a lie, Mingyu. It's okay."

"It doesn't feel okay. It--I don't know." Mingyu pulled his lips together, looking as though he was thinking through the sentence while he was saying it. "It feels... Scary?"

"Scary?"

"Not scary, I guess, but I just wish I could be like you." Mingyu said, pulling his hand from Jihoon's so he could wrap both his arms around Jihoon's sides, resting them together on the small of his back. He had a slight sigh in his voice. "You've never liked a girl. You've always known. But I... I don't know what I know. Sometimes I think that girls are sexy, but then thinking about them... I mean, I don't want to ever be with anyone but you, and I don't know if that's why I know I don't want them, or if it's something else, but... Calling myself gay doesn't feel wrong, but it feels really final." 

"It doesn't have to be final." 

Of all things, that's what got a small laugh out of Mingyu. 

"People don't--Jihoon, people don't just become un-gay." 

That made Jihoon laugh too, ducking his chin a bit, touching his forehead to Mingyu's collarbone as he smiled. 

"I know I don't really understand the big questioning thing, but you’re whatever you want. If you say that you're gay, then that's good enough for me. Okay?" 

"Okay." Mingyu said, and then Mingyu was kissing him, kissing him so suddenly that it took his breath away. It was a little too desperate, a little too urgent, Jihoon wondering if Mingyu still had something he needed to talk about. He pulled away, rolling to fall onto the mattress, curling on his side to look at his boyfriend. 

"This was really bothering you." He said, and Mingyu turned on his side as well. 

"It was! I don't know why. I had to tell you, whatever your reaction would be." 

"This is my reaction." Jihoon reached over to touch him again, putting his thumb and pointer finger to Mingyu's right earlobe and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I love you, and you're gay, and I love you anyway. Easy, right?" 

Instead of smiling, Mingyu frowned. 

"What if I'm not, though?" He asked. "What if I’m wrong, and I just lied to you again?" 

"Then my reaction would be the same." Jihoon said. Sure, Mingyu could be dumb, but he was also one of the smartest people Jihoon knew, and Jihoon really didn't understand why this was so hard. "Do you not know what unconditional means?" 

Somehow, that did it. That sunk in, and Mingyu was over to him, flopping on top of him and making him groan with the sudden excess weight, pressing kisses to his neck. Jihoon wrapped his arms around Mingyu, squeezing him tightly, and after a moment the burst of movement was over, Mingyu's head next to his on the pillow beneath them. 

"I'm sorry." Mingyu said. 

"What is it now?" Jihoon asked, brushing Mingyu’s bangs out of his face, and Mingyu laughed a little. 

"For thinking you'd be mad, or--or disappointed." Mingyu nuzzled his face into Jihoon's neck. "For not trusting you more. I didn't need to worry so much." 

"That's what you get." Jihoon told him. He felt Mingyu smile against his skin. 

"Did you mean what you said?" He asked, his voice slightly muffled. 

"Which part?" Jihoon asked. "Poottee Poottee?" 

"Growing old with me." 

It was a curse, Jihoon thought, having a boyfriend that loved to throw the cheesy things he said back in his face. Because yes, it was true--it had been true since Jihoon had decided that he was Mingyu's and that Mingyu was his, his mind liked to set itself that way--but he sure as hell couldn't say that now, his face on fire. 

"Shut up." He said instead, then dug his fingers into Mingyu's sides. Mingyu let out a loud yelp of laughter into his ear, rolling away, Jihoon clambering on top of him. They were wrestling like children, like they had when they were children, Jihoon sitting on Mingyu's chest as Mingyu found both his hands and interlocked their fingers. 

"Yeah." Jihoon finally managed out. Mingyu had been open with him, Jihoon figured; he deserved this much. "Yeah, I did." 

Mingyu beamed, bringing one of Jihoon's hands close and kissing it. 

"Good." 


End file.
